Mi Dispiace, Sto Imparando! (Sorry, I’m Learning!)
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It’s your second day in Siena, Italy; the streets seem to all blend together, no clue where you are or going. The sun beats down on you, and you stupidly wore pants because you were told that Italians dressed more formally, but all you feel is sweaty and gross. When lo and behold, a refreshing gelateria ahead invites you in with the bright colors of gelato and, even better, air conditioning!
After deciding on a coffee-flavored gelato, you step up to the counter and realize you have no idea how to ask for what you want. You speak quietly, words you have heard from the people in front of you, a mishmash of piccolo and cup, hoping the poor worker understands your frantic look and point. It feels embarrassing, disorienting, and even disheartening. That is at least until you get that sweet, sweet gelato and all feels right again.
Learning a language is hard. That is common knowledge. But practicing that language in a real-world scenario is an entirely different thing. That threatening green owl on Duolingo can only do so much.
I’ve had this conversation with a couple of Hope students (Graysen and Katie— shoutout!) that I’ve been on this adventure with, and they have similar thoughts. It’s challenging to put your slow and slightly awful pronunciation out into the world for judgment. Many people speak English in Siena, primarily closer to the city center or in larger chain stores, but it isn’t super common.
On my trip to Italy, luggage space was tight, even after removing my Nintendo Switch. So buying school supplies here was my only option. So there I was, needing notebooks for all of my classes, using Google Maps to try and find everything, jumping from shade to shade in the streets. Because, once again, it was (and still is) so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk.
I finally found a place with this sweet younger lady manning the register. I picked out the colors for my classes (if you think blue for anything other than English, you are dead wrong), and the lady came up to me. Rapid-fire Italian started spewing from her mouth, too fast for me to make out any semblance of words besides “bene.” I stared at her, probably the stupidest look on my face, a knot rising in my throat.
“Sorry, no Italiano? English?” It all came out as a question.
She looked disappointed and then said, “No inglese.” And then walked away. I went back to staring at notebooks and pencils, my face burning. Finally done, I put my stuff on the counter and pointed to my wallet. She showed me the calculator; I paid, and then proceeded to run out of that building. Not literally, but almost.
The self-confidence in my study abroad trip was shattered over an attempted notebook conversation. But that one bad experience doesn’t have to shape how I look at learning Italian. It is a necessary flaming hoop to jump through. As I’ve experienced, and I know many others have too, getting it wrong is the only way to actually get it right, as humiliating as it feels in the moment. And if we (my new friends and I) truly want to live here and experience life in Siena, we have to be willing to be uncomfortable.
What does this mean for us?
Practice! So, so much practice and getting it wrong a million times before you get it right. I’ll screw up in class on the pronunciation of the word orologio over and over again (please Google it) and feel immense pride, literally jump for joy, about an all-Italian conversation with the PamLocal grocery store lady. And all of the flashcards on verbs. It is all worth it.
We are now officially over a week into the Hope in Tuscany program in Siena, Italy. I’ve already learned so much, made some great connections, and I’m slowly finding my rhythm in this hectic time. If you see me wandering the streets of Siena muttering to myself, I am most likely working up the courage to order food. It might be embarrassing, but at least there is an affogato (or two) in my future. Ciao! A presto!
Writer’s Bio
Hailey Francom is a first-semester student at Hope College, on the Hope in Tuscany first-semester-experience program in Siena, Italy, a program that seeks to establish the community of Hope in an international, diverse context. This is her first column for the Hope in Tuscany blog.
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