How to Maintain a Long-Distance Relationship While Abroad
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My boyfriend Ayden and I have been together for a little over seven years. We started dating my freshman year of high school and, until now, had never experienced long distance beyond the two-and-a-half-hour drive between Traverse City and Holland while I was in school. We always knew we would eventually have to do long-distance when I studied abroad, but of course, we had our concerns.
Here are some helpful tips and mindsets we’ve used to strengthen our relationship while apart:
- Communication is key. When it comes to long-distance- especially across time zones—feelings can easily get lost in translation. It’s essential to communicate how you’re feeling, whether that’s loneliness, frustration, or anything else. Your partner knows you better than anyone and can support you, but only if you’re open and honest.
2. Make Time for Each Other. Making time to talk every day—whether it’s a quick check-in or a long FaceTime call—helps maintain a sense of normalcy. Hearing your partner’s voice and sharing about your day makes a big difference. Even just sitting on the phone together without constant conversation can feel comforting. Life gets busy, but prioritizing each other is crucial during this time.
3. Discuss Expectations. Before leaving, Ayden and I sat down to talk about what would help us feel secure while apart. We discussed how often we’d communicate, how we’d stay updated, and even planned a visit that worked for both of our schedules. Setting expectations ahead of time helped eliminate uncertainty.
4. Be Mindful of Each Other’s Experiences. While I was adjusting to life abroad, I had to remind myself that Ayden was going through something different. I was experiencing new places and people, while he was at home maintaining his usual routine. We both had to acknowledge and respect each other’s emotions—whether that was excitement, anxiety, or even boredom.
5. Stay Connected with Updates. I tend to be an anxious person, so staying updated helps me feel more at ease. We share small updates throughout the day, which helps us feel connected and makes it easier to find time to talk. This might not work for every couple, but it’s something that works well for us.
6. Remember it’s temporary. Long-distance can feel endless, but it isn’t forever. One thing that helped me was using a calendar to count down the days until we were reunited. There are so many couples who successfully navigate long-distance relationships, and you absolutely can too! Every day is one step closer to being together again.
7. It’s Ok to Feel. Even if you want to stay strong, it’s okay to feel sad, scared, or overwhelmed. Letting yourself cry or process your emotions is healthy. Bottling everything up only makes things harder—allowing yourself to feel is an important part of getting through it.
In the end, long-distance is never easy, but it can strengthen your relationship in ways you might not expect. It teaches you patience, trust, and how to truly communicate with one another. While being abroad comes with its challenges, it also reveals just how much someone means to you. The distance pushes you to grow—both individually and as a couple—and shows the strength of your connection. As long as you stay committed, supportive, and understanding, you can get through it together. Distance is temporary, but a strong relationship can last a lifetime.
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