How Germany Changed Me For Good
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The moment I’ve simultaneously been both thrilled and devastated about has finally arrived; or rather, it did. On December 13, I finally set foot on the patriotic soils of the USA once again. To say the moment was climactic… well, that’s a lie. It was chill, and I’ve become well-adjusted to long travel days. Aside from the normal aches and pains of main cabin air travel, I had no problems getting back. So how has it been being back in the tried-and-true USA? Let’s talk about it.
Retrospective Perspective
How incredible is it that just 4 months ago, I set off for Germany from this very place? Life has a unique way of unfolding into you had planned-and nothing you expected- all at once. If you had told little 14-year-old me that German would become my college major, or that I’d spend an entire semester living in a foreign country, she would have called you insane. Absurd. Preposterous. Yet here I was on the other side of living full-time in Germany, filled with joy and gratitude for the experiences that shaped me. I never planned or imagined that I could do this.
Uprooting your entire life for a whole semester can be intimidating at first… I would know! I came into this semester with enough anxiety to fill an ocean. I had seen video after video on social media, romanticizing the life that I would get to live, but it all seemed so impossible. It all seemed so far-fetched, but as soon as I landed in Germany, I knew I had made the right decision.
Not every moment was perfect, but these imperfections shaped me into the person I am today. From sailing down the coast of Sardinia to the glowering rainbows across the streets of Edinburgh, there was enough good to balance out the craziness. I came out of this experience well-traveled, level-headed, and confident in myself and my autonomy. Traveling can seem anxiety-inducing, but I could not possibly fathom a world without the payoff of overcoming that anxiety. After that 8-hour flight is a train through the Schwarzwald to a little city called Freiburg, and it is now a place I can forever call home.
It’s Not Cut and Dry
In between the excitement of being abroad and the relief of being home, there is a feeling that is quite hard to describe. My last few weeks abroad were hard, especially with Thanksgiving on the docket; I felt very alone. Although the people I met were amazing and the place was better, I was certainly looking forward to coming home to my friends, family, and dog, Lexie.
While I mourned the new life and routine I had built as I closed my apartment door for the last time, I began the process of reintegrating into my life in the US. First of all, 10 degrees Fahrenheit with 8 inches of snow on the ground-welcome to Michigan! I had almost forgotten what winter felt like after months of sunny, 60-degree days in Freiburg. Secondly, driving. I’m once again required to drive myself everywhere, a reality that remains endlessly frustrating—especially when combined with people who probably shouldn’t be behind the wheel, making the roads feel dangerous through inattention or poor decisions. And finally, ice in my water. I truly thought I’d adjusted to life without it, but boy, was I wrong! I love ice water in my giant hydro flask!
My first thought after two days? Everything here in the US is so boring! Of course, if I had studied in the US and returned to Germany as home, I would have thought the same thing. I was so excited to return to my sense of normalcy, yet nothing feels normal at all anymore.
No separating trash into categories, no public transportation going everywhere I need, and no new cities to explore just a train ride away.
I’ll admit, it’s disappointing in some ways. Relief, but at the cost of adventure. Life is a balance of these things, but I’m glad to finally settle into home again. Even though I miss a lot about Germany, I am so glad I had the opportunity to explore it for my short time there. The mixed feelings are not cut and dry. I love and hate both sides of the feeling equally; however, I am okay with the nuance in that. It means that my experience was worth it and I will for sure go back to visit or live in Germany one day!
Closing Thoughts
For the last time as an OCS blogger, I’ll give my closing thoughts on Germany as a whole. Per the title, Germany has definitely changed me for the better. I could have never imagined the way they changed the way I think politically, morally, and sustainably. Among those things was huge emotional growth, a feeling of autonomy, and independence. I can now conquer an airport like a pro and navigate public transport in most places (ahem… Berlin) with confidence.
Of course, I can’t close without a big mention of my fellow LAS program friends who made a beautiful community of nerds who love learning and exploring. They were truly all wonderful, and I wish them all the best as we spread across the US to our small liberal arts schools across the country. They made every day fun, and they made overcoming every challenge so worth it. They truly left a handprint on my heart, even if we never know when we will see each other again.
Thank you all for following along on my journey. I have enjoyed having an outlet to share my thoughts and feelings, and I hope it offered you a glimpse into what life abroad can be like. It truly is life-changing- despite my initial insistence- and I encourage anyone who has an opportunity to take it when they can!
Thank you, Germany. You’ve changed me for good. <3
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