Expanding My Familiar
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Introduction
Every time we encounter a difference we are given a choice—avoid it or get to know it. One of the great flaws of the human mind, be it an inherent product of imperfection or a learned mentality, is that it undoubtedly gravitates towards the former. Difference brings about discomfort, change, and ultimately fear, none of which are on my list of favorite things to experience.
In my life back home, difference exists but in a much more subtle way. The stranger I see in the park is different, that music that my roommate listens to is different, that food they served today at Phelps was different. But, it is quite possible to go on living my normal life without experiencing much difference.
When you sign-up to study abroad, you are signing up for difference. At first, almost everything is uncomfortable, new, and scary. The language spoken is different, every meal time and food item is different, the weather is different, the way people greet each other (what, they kiss each other on the cheek!?) is different—everything that I thought was normal is now different. Life becomes different, and the choice I am now given is to avoid life or get to know it.
The Pulse of the Place
There is a scientific phenomenon called physiological synchrony, where interactions between individuals lead to an increase in coordination of actions, emotions, thoughts, and physiological processes. In other words, the more you spend time with someone, the more likely your pulses will align. How cool is that!? But, people aren’t the only ones with pulses; places have them too.
When I arrived in Buenos Aires, our pulses were out of sync. The city’s heart was beating slowly and rhythmically like the Bombo Legüero of Argentinian Folklore, while mine was beating rapidly and inconsistently, a side-effect of a productivity-hungry college student who’s forgotten how to slow down. How can a person who hates wasting time survive in a place where the people pride themselves on being “professional time wasters”? The answer is found in physiological synchrony.
There is a Spanish word that is used all the time here in Argentina, the verb andar. It means to go or to walk, but in the sense that the going/walking is the destination. For example, if a friend invites me to a picnic in the park, I could say “voy para ahí” which would translate to “I’m on my way there,” but I could also respond “voy a andar ahí” which would loosely translate to “I’m gonna take a stroll through the streets, I’ll get there eventually.” In order to become aligned with the pulse of the city, I needed to learn how to andar.
As I began to embrace this new place, in an effort to get to know it, my pulse began to slow down. As the city and I spent more time together, elements that at first seemed strange became adopted behaviors. I began to move, feel, think, and live in the rhythm of Buenos Aires.
Embracing is a Posture
The beautiful thing about embracing something that is different is that it doesn’t require renunciation, which is normal. Studying abroad is not a rejection of familiarity; it’s an expansion of it. I have learned how two different ways of life can both be, in their own ways, purposeful and beautiful.
“Studying abroad is not a rejection of familiarity; it’s an expansion of it.”
The posture of embrace is a posture of humility. It combats the prideful ethnocentrism that seeks to label one way of living as better than another, and instead seeks to understand a culture on an intimate level. This is done by engaging with all facets of a society. Food, music, art, holidays, architecture, nightlife, language, gestures, transportation, and all other elements of a culture become ways to conocer a new way of life. A life that began as different, but has now become—to me—quite familiar.
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