Missing Home and Missing Hope
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“You will have such an amazing time!”
“Oh my goodness, you are going to love it!”
“You are going to have the time of your life!”
And I did. I did have an amazing time. I loved it, and I experienced some of the most unique and meaningful moments of my life. But joy and excitement weren’t the only emotions I felt along the way. There were moments when my heart longed for home and be embraced by the people I love most.
I daydreamed of going on long shopping trips with my mom through the treasure trove of Costco. I imagined sneaking out to a cheap golf course with my dad on crisp, sweater-weather fall days. I pictured throwing a football around in the backyard with my brother. I longed to hear the giggles of my niece and nephew. I missed studying in Campus Ministries and playing cornhole with my housemates on the front lawn. I longed to walk across a campus filled with familiar faces and people who knew me.
It’s hard to replicate the comfort of a loving home or the closeness of the Hope community in just a few short months. So what was I supposed to do with the feeling of missing home and missing Hope?
When those feelings surfaced, I reminded myself of how richly God had blessed me with fun experiences, new friendships, and a caring host family. How could I complain about the distance from home while also being deeply grateful for His undeserved favor?
I didn’t always do a good job of navigating these emotions. I often found myself unsure how to make sense of it. At times, it felt as though studying abroad had been a mistake. But through this experience, I came to understand just how fortunate I am to be part of a family that encouraged me to step away from home for a semester and for all the ways I grew and learned in Chile. By leaving, I gained a deeper appreciation for what I had all along—my family and the incredible community at Hope that continues to shape who I am.
It all made this tear-filled hug with my mom after four months of being apart so much sweeter!
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